


False Faces

by Jecari



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, M/M, Supernatural Elements, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:15:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27329404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jecari/pseuds/Jecari
Summary: It's happening. Buck is finally going on a date with Eddie but when he gets a strange call from Bobby, Buck realizes that there is something wrong with his best friend. Eddie might not be who Buck thinks he is.After that phonecall their date takes a weird turn and it's only just the beginning...
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 143
Collections: 911 and 911 Lone Star Halloween Fest 2020





	False Faces

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thank you to [ The17stairs ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the17stairs) for the betaing and all the help and support ♥
> 
> One character might act out of character but there's a reason for it. If you don't mind spoilers and want to be safe and know more about this fic before reading, head to the author's note at the end. 
> 
> Hope you like it! ♥

_“Behind the face lurks evil behind the face lurks pain_

_Behind the face of the one you trust better look again”_

_–_ **False faces __**by _Southern death cult_

______________

________

Buck has been impatiently waiting for the end of his shift all day. Usually, he doesn’t look forward to the moment when he has to leave the fire station and go back to his empty and quiet apartment, but today is different.

Today, Buck has plans—exciting and important ones.

In all honesty, Buck still can’t believe that this is happening. Not only did he finally work up the courage to ask Eddie out after months and months of embarrassingly crushing on his best friend, but Eddie actually agreed to go on a date with him.

Days later, Buck still remembers the soft smile that tugged at the corners of Eddie's lips and the soft blush that spread across his cheeks—he had wanted to kiss him right here, right now but knew better. Eddie being Eddie, he hadn't shown much beyond that but it was enough to reassure him. It made him feel good and confident, it convinced him that he was making the right decision. 

Since that evening, Buck's confidence and certainty stayed strong, filling his belly with butterflies crazy with anticipation and excitement. 

Until now.

As he knots his tie the way Bobby taught him, tongue out in concentration, Buck can’t help but feel his good spirit waver. It’s like the knot he’s just made with his tie tightens inside his stomach, making it clench unpleasantly. Doubts and worries creep on Buck’s brain, hard to ignore.

Did he make it clear enough that this is a date? What if Eddie has changed his mind? What if this ruins their friendship?

Shaking his head, Buck takes a deep breath in a desperate attempt to chase his doubts away. He can’t go there, it’s too late now. Besides, just as Maddie said, it’s better to know than staying in the dark. He needs to know. With his sister’s advice in mind, Buck looks at his reflection in the mirror with determination.

“It’s going to be okay,” Buck says to himself. “Go big or go home.”

After another deep breath, he grabs his car keys and wallet from his locker and closes it with too much strength. Buck isn’t entirely convinced by his own words, but it’s enough to appease his mind for now. Ignoring the heavy cloud of worries and fears hanging above his head, Buck leaves the locker room and heads to the mezzanine. There, he finds Bobby, Chimney, and Hen in the kitchen area. When he joins them, he’s welcomed by whistling and cheering.

“Someone’s got plans,” Chimney wiggles his eyebrows in a creepy yet funny way.

“Actually, yes,” Buck informs his friends, his cheek heating up. “I do.”

Chimney grins proudly as he jumps down his stool to pat Buck’s back.

“Well done, Buckaroo!”

“Who’s the lucky guy?” Hen asks from where she’s sitting at the kitchen island, squinting at Buck. “Girl?” She adds, searching Buck’s eyes. Apparently Hen quickly finds what she’s looking for because a wide smile appears on her face. “A guy!”

“Whoever it is,” Bobby joins the conversation from the other side of the island, a wooden spoon in hand, “it’s someone special. The last time I saw you wear a suit on a date was with Abby. I still remember helping you with your tie,” Bobby recalls with what seems to be fondness.

Despite the way that date ended, it’s a fond memory for Buck too. Sharing that moment with Bobby had meant a lot to him; it created a bond between them that Buck never shares with his biological father and had always craved.

As he stares into Bobby’s eyes, Buck hesitates. Of course, it’s someone special—It’s Eddie. But Buck’s not sure he’s ready to share that information with his friends just yet. A part of him wants to keep it secret for some reason, maybe to protect himself. The other part knows he can trust Chimney, Hen, and Bobby. After all, they are more than friends, they are family and Buck is slowly learning what that means.

Being a family is not about blood but trust, care and love.

With that in mind, Buck breathes heavily to gather his courage. Weirdly, at the moment he’s more nervous about telling the three of them about his date with Eddie than actually going to that date.

“It’s Eddie,” Buck announces in a small and uncertain voice, his eyes now focused on his shiny shoes.

Buck isn’t sure what reaction he is expecting from his friends, but he is expecting something at least, anything. Silence welcomes Buck’s revelation, making his stomach drop uneasily. Do they think this is a bad idea?

Tentatively lifting his head, Buck finds out that his friends’ silence doesn’t mean they aren’t reacting to what he just said. Bobby has stopped stirring his sauce and looks at him with a knowing smile while Hen and Chimney are staring at each other with a matching conspiratorial look on their faces. While Hen is smiling and holds her hand out to Chimney, the man rolls his eyes, one of his hands searching his pockets. Frowning in confusion, Buck watches him take a twenty dollar bill out of the back pocket of his pants and put it in Hen’s hand.

“Thank you,” Hen smiles smugly.

“You—” Buck scoffs in disbelief.

To be fair, he’s not that shocked by their bet. He’s just surprised that they made one about him and Eddie. Hen and Chimney don’t even try to look remorseful, they both shrug but none of them says anything. Bobby does.

“We all knew it was just a matter of time,” Bobby declares, looking as guilty as the other two.

“You too, Bobby?!” Buck exclaims, shaking his head.

Now, that’s unexpected. As far as Buck knows, Bobby has always refused to take part in this kind of shenanigans. Obviously, Buck was wrong.

“I lost about two weeks ago,” Bobby declares with a shrug.

Shaking his head, Buck scoffs again. Rather than feeling offended, Buck is amused and his confidence slowly comes back. If his friends bet on Eddie and him dating, it’s because they saw things, hints that this was a possibility. Buck knows it’s their way of showing support while having fun because he’s been there—he did this too with Bobby and Athena.

“It’s a nice suit,” Hen compliments.

Buck instantly looks down at his dark gray suit and white shirt. He hesitated about this for a long while—not just the outfit but also the place and his plans in general. As he stands there, hesitation comes back sneakily. Maybe this is too much. Eddie is a simple guy, so maybe he should have settled for something less fancy and romantic. Is it too late to change plans? To cancel?

_No._

Buck refuses to go down that slippery slope. He refuses to let his doubts get the best of him and make him hesitate. He’s been thinking about this for days, he’s been imagining what his first date with Eddie would be like for months. This is the right choice, this is what Eddie deserves: a real romantic and cheesy first date like the ones in the movies. He deserves to know how special he is to Buck and this, this is Buck’s way of showing it. Besides, Buck has never been the kind of man who does things in half measures, and he’s not going to start now. He wants to make it count.

‘Go big or go home’ has always been his motto and it helped him so far. So as he books a table in a fancy restaurant, as he decides to wear a suit, as he thinks about what he is going to say to Eddie… Each time, Buck repeats this to himself over and over again.

_Go big or go home._

“You think so?” Buck asks, unable to completely shake his doubts off.

“You look handsome,” Chimney nods in approval, winking at Buck.

Buck sighs heavily and offers his friend a small smile. He might not be entirely convinced, but he still appreciates the compliment.

“So…” Hen trails off, walking closer to Buck. “What have you planned?”

“We’re meeting at that new Italian place Bobby told me about and… we’ll see,” Buck shrugs, trying not to make a fuss about it.

“I took Maddie there two weeks ago!” Chimney exclaims, ruining Buck’s plan. “You’re going all out, uh?”

“He’s worth it,” Buck declares with another shrug.

“Besides, considering your luck with first dates, it’s a smart choice,” Chimney adds with a teasing smile.

Buck frowns in confusion, slightly tilting his head to the side. “What does that mean?”

“There’s a hospital near the restaurant,” Bobby answers, smiling too.

“I—” Buck huffs in amusement.

Bobby and Chimney aren’t wrong, Buck’s history with first dates isn’t great— It’s a miracle he ever got a second one. Buck really hopes this one doesn’t end up with him in a hospital, but who knows?

“I, um, I should go if I don’t want to be late,” Buck speaks again after a few minutes of silence.

“It’s going to be okay,” Bobby declares with so much confidence that Buck has no choice but to believe him.

“Go get your man, Buckaroo,” Hen encourages him with a smile.

“Don’t make him wait!” Chimney adds.

“Okay, okay,” Buck raises his hands in defense. “I’m going, see you tomorrow!”

Reassured by his friends’ support and optimism, Buck offers them a last smile then leaves the fire station with butterflies in his stomach.

_Go big or go home._

______________

The traffic is even worse than Buck expected but somehow he still manages to arrive a few minutes early. At first, Buck decides to patiently wait in his car but it quickly becomes unbearable. The silence is deafening and getting on his nerves while his body is buzzing with excitement. Buck needs fresh air and movement, or he feels like he’s going to go crazy with impatience and anticipation. So he gives up after a short moment. He grabs his phone, his keys and his wallet and gets out of his jeep.

Thanks to the small breeze, it’s a nice night, warm but not hot. Buck forces himself to keep a slow steady pace as he walks to the restaurant shoving everything but his phone in his pockets.

Even from the outside, the place looks fancy and elegant. The storefront is painted in a dark maroon color with the name of the restaurant written above a big door and huge glass windows in a white curved font. Plants and flowers are placed under the windows and inside the lights are dim enough for Buck to see his reflection on the windows.

Buck feels good about this, both the place he picked and going on a date with Eddie. It’s like he left his doubts and worries back at the fire station and, as he stands by the big glass window, Buck realizes that he’s never been so sure about anything in his entire life. This feels so right, as if it is meant to be and Buck is exactly where he is supposed to be, when he is supposed to be.

Of course, there’s still some nervousness lingering inside Buck’s chest—he can’t help but check the time every other second and even starts pacing when he notices that Eddie is eight minutes late. It’s not the bad kind of anxiety, though. It’s not crushing or overwhelming. It’s not making him struggle to breathe or messing with his brain either. It’s the kind of nervousness that does things to Buck’s belly, that puts frantic butterflies in there. More than nervous, Buck is excited.

However, when Buck checks his phone again, worry starts to settle in his chest, making it clench uncomfortably. Eddie is now twenty minutes late and that’s just not like him, he’s the most punctual person Buck has ever met. There’s a little voice inside Buck’s head telling him that he’s getting worked up over nothing but Buck ignores it. Just to be sure and calm his nerves, he decides to call Eddie. Buck unlocks his phone and uses the speed dial function to call his friend without having to look for his name in his contact list. The phone rings and rings… Buck’s heart drops in his stomach when he hears the recorded message of Eddie’s voicemail.

Instantly, Buck’s brain goes at a mile a minute, coming up with scenarios, each one worse than the previous one. They go from Eddie simply being late, to Eddie changing his mind and standing him up, to Eddie being involved in a car crash. Buck tries to ignore them, tries to push down his anxiety, but he needs something more than a few deep breaths. He needs Eddie; he needs to know he’s okay. Buck knows he’s probably overreacting, but he can’t shake off the weird feeling twisting his guts. So he doesn’t waste a second and tries to call Eddie again. Before he can bring his phone to his ear, though, Buck feels a hand on his shoulder, startling him.

Buck jumps slightly as his heart jumps in his throat. When he turns around, his heart still beating hectically, Buck finds Eddie standing in front of him, his hands up in defense and a beautiful smile on his face. He’s wearing a perfectly fitted navy suit that hugs his body in all the right places, somehow making him look more muscular. As usual, his hair is defying gravity on top of his head, but they look more polished than usual. Soft light is shining on his face, illuminating it in a way that makes his jawline look sharper than ever and his eyes darker, almost black. Eddie is handsome.

“It’s just me,” Eddie offers Buck a small smile. “If you’re trying to call me,” he adds, nodding at Buck’s phone, “it’s useless. I forgot my phone at home.”

Buck isn’t sure if it’s the smile tugging at Eddie’s face, the lack of worry, or the explanation itself, but something doesn’t sit right with him. As a parent and just a generally precautious person, his best friend always has his phone with him in case Christopher needs to reach him or something happens. Eddie never forgets his phone—it’s the one thing he always makes sure to have with him at all times.

“You forgot your phone?” Buck narrows his eyes in suspicion as he puts his phone in the pocket of his suit’s jacket. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie answers, nervously scratching the back of his head. “I, um, I was nervous and impatient and… Yeah, I forgot. Sorry, I’m late, I didn’t mean for you to worry.”

Tilting his head to the side, Buck observes his best friend. Eddie is now looking down at the pavement, obviously embarrassed—by his statement or the fact he made Buck worry, Buck isn’t sure. Even though he needs to say something, the lack of eye contact gives Buck some time to think. He can understand the nervousness and impatience because that's exactly how he feels too, but he finds all of that strange. However, Buck decides to ignore the weird feeling twisting his insides again and focuses on the fact that Eddie is sharing his excitement. _It is a good sign, right?_

“It’s okay,” Buck says in a soft voice, taking a step forward. “You’re here now.”

Buck hears Eddie sucking in a deep breath as he slowly lifts his head. Their eyes meet and Buck notices how dark Eddie’s eyes look. Maybe it’s just the light, but they are darker than ever, pupils so big there barely any brown left. There’s something Buck can’t place in them, something unsettling he’s never seen before that makes him feel so edgy he can’t fight the urge to look away.

“Are you okay?” Eddie asks.

His concern is obvious in his words and in the way he rests a hand on Buck’s shoulder as well.

“Yeah,” Buck quickly replies, shaking his head. “Yeah,” he forces himself to look into Eddie’s—still oddly dark—eyes again. “Just… nervous.”

That’s not completely a lie, nervousness describes what Buck’s feeling best. Eddie simply hums in answer while Buck chuckles awkwardly. This isn’t how he pictured himself acting when he imagined his date with Eddie. In the scenarios he’s been playing in his head, Buck was smooth and confident, not a nervous mess thrown off by his best friend’s eye color. Yet, he shouldn’t be surprised, Eddie has that effect on him, unexpected. Around him, Buck is miles away from the self-assured personality he’s used to hiding behind. He’s himself, with his fear and insecurities, vulnerable.

Shaking his head again, Buck takes a deep breath and forces himself to look back at Eddie. He finds his best friend looking at him from head to toes with a big, quite predatory smile.

“You look…” Eddie starts, staring into Buck’s eyes. “Beddable.”

It’s a weird choice of word that makes Buck’s eyes go wide. He’s surprised and a little bit uncomfortable, but he doesn’t give it much thought. It’s a compliment, and those are rare coming from Eddie who usually keeps to himself so Buck accepts it with a smile.

“Shall we?” Eddie asks, jerking his head towards the restaurant’s door.

“Yes, sure!” Buck nods enthusiastically.

Smiling, Eddie walks to the door first and holds it open for Buck. Buck chuckles as he walks past his best friend, into the restaurant. The inside is as elegant as the outside. The colors are dark, giving the place a soft and intimate atmosphere that instantly reminds Buck why they are here: a date. The thought makes Buck’s heart beat faster and the butterflies in his stomach wake up again. Somehow, finally being here, with Eddie, all of this seems even more surreal yet so real at the same time. It's happening, Buck is on a date with Eddie.

There are booths lined up against the brick walls, some hidden inside small alcoves with light hanging on the ceiling. Tables with candles and flowers fill the rest of the room but don’t crowd the place, allowing Buck and Eddie to easily follow the waitress to their table.

The brunette guides them outside, to a small terrace with only a few tables. It’s mostly empty, people preferring the warmth of the inside room at this time of the year. However, Buck doesn’t regret his choice. A pergola is blocking most of the breeze, decorated with fairy lights and lightbulbs that shine warm yellow light on the small table the waitress stops by. There’s just enough room for two people and, strangely, Buck wonders how their legs are going to fit under the table, but they do. After she hands them the menus and gives them a sweet smile, the waitress leaves them alone.

As they go through the menu, Buck can’t help but feel uncomfortable, out of place, but it doesn’t last. Despite the silence that settles between them Eddie’s presence on the other side of the table is enough to reassure him, to make him forget about everything. It’s not one of those heavy silence, charged with unspoken words but it’s not a comforting one either. It’s awkward and if it doesn’t bother Buck at first, he quickly feels the need to break the silence, to say something.

“How’s Christopher?” Buck asks because Eddie’s son is a safe subject. It’s also the first thing that crosses his mind.

“He’s okay,” Eddie replies with a smile that lacks his usual fondness.

“Did you two have a good day?” Buck tries again in hopes to get the conversation started. In vain.

“Yeah,” Eddie simply answers, eyes focused on his menu, and silence falls between them again.

“This is ridiculous,” Buck sighs, thinking out loud.

He doesn’t mean to say it, but it’s the truth. This _is_ ridiculous, this is not them. This awkwardness around each other, this discomfort… it’s not them. They might not be the kind of best friends who often have deep and heartfelt conversations, but they never have issues communicating.

“What is?” Eddie asks, cocking an eyebrow at Buck.

“This,” Buck declares, waving between them. “It’s us, it’s _me_ , Eddie. There’s no reason to be so nervous.”

Eddie doesn’t say anything for a little while. A smile spreads across his face as he tilts his head to the side.

“I’m not nervous anymore,” Eddie states. “Just distracted.”

Buck frowns in confusion. “Distracted?”

“Distracted,” Eddie confirms. “I can’t stop thinking about all the things I’m going to do to you after we leave.”

Buck’s heart skips a beat at what Eddie has just implied, at his surprising straightforwardness. _Sex_. Not that Buck is against it, he thought about it to be honest. He knows it is a possibility—eventually—but he didn’t think it could happen so fast, after only one date. Buck figures Eddie would want to take his time and thought it was what he wanted too. However, now that he knows it might happen tonight, it’s different.

“Yeah?” Buck grins, leaning over the table. “And what are you going to do to me?” He whispers, his mouth dry.

“You’re going to have to wait to find out,” Eddie offers Buck a teasing smile.

Baffled, Buck scoffs before leaning back against the back of his chair. He shakes his head at Eddie and crosses his arms over his chest in frustration.

“Don’t pout,” Eddie laughs. “You’ll find out soon and I promise, you’re going to love it.”

“Not soon enough,” Buck protests.

Eddie chuckles and rolls his eyes. “So impatient.”

“Impatient?!” Buck almost shouts. “Do you have any idea how l—” He starts, but he’s interrupted by the waitress and can only continue once she leaves with their order. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for this?”

“As long as I have, I guess,” Eddie shrugs.

“You– I– What?” Buck’s eyes narrow. “I can’t believe you! I wasn’t even sure you would agree to go on a date with me.”

“Why would have I said no?”

Buck looks down at his hands on the table. “I… I wasn’t sure you felt the same way I do about you.”

This time, Eddie is the one leaning over the table, coming closer to Buck and whispering.

“And how do you feel about me Buck?” He asks.

“I…” Buck hesitates.

Buck knows he tends to wear his heart on his sleeve and fall in love too easily, so he doesn’t want to go too fast. He doesn’t want to scare Eddie away with a love confession, but he’s sure of his feelings, he’s been for a while. Buck loves Eddie, he’s in love with him. And maybe Eddie doesn’t feel the same way but…

_Go big or go home._

Taking a deep and long breath to gather his courage, Buck lifts his head and looks right into Eddie’s eyes.

“I love you,” he declares with as much confidence as he can.

On the other side of the table, a smile spreads across Eddie’s face as he leans back. Eddie stays silent, his smile getting wider and wider, almost inhuman—evil. Frowning in confusion, Buck stares at his best friend. He holds his breath as he waits for an answer, his heart pounding in his chest. As minutes pass by, Buck’s chest tightens, making breathing a struggle.

“You were right,” Eddie eventually laughs. _Laughs_. “I don’t feel the same way.”

Even if he knew this could happen, this isn’t the reply Buck was hoping for. As his mind goes blank and his body freezes, he feels a sharp pain in his chest, as if someone just stabbed him straight in the heart. It’s quick but so painful tears gather at the corners of Buck’s eyes.

Swallowing down the knot in his throat, Buck refuses to let his tears fall, yet he can't hold back the shaky breath slipping past his lips. He can do this, he can be strong. He can accept this with dignity and if he does, maybe he can save his friendship with Eddie. It hurts, his heart is breaking and Buck doubts he’ll ever be able to mend it back together but at least, he hasn't lost his best friend yet. Eddie doesn't love him, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like him as a friend. Buck tries to find comfort in that.

Hidden underneath heartbreak, lies confusion. Thousands of questions twirls inside Buck’s head and inevitably, he starts to doubt Eddie’s intention. It feels wrong to doubt his best friend—the man he loves—but if Eddie doesn’t want more than friendship with him, why did he agree to go on a date with him? It doesn’t make sense…

“Did you really think that I could love you back?” Eddie snarls, and Buck feels his skin crawl.

“Then w– w– w” Buck stutters in confusion and hurt. “W– why did you agree to this?”

Buck hears himself speak, but he still can’t think, still can’t move. Pinned in place, he watches Eddie’s evil smile grow as the pain in his chest intensifies.

“Why do you think?” Eddie asks, but he doesn’t give enough time to Buck to reply, let alone think. “Because I pity you. I was just trying to be nice by not hurting your feelings. I never thought you would be pathetic enough to confess your love on a first date but now that I think about it…” He makes a short pause to shrug. “Knowing you, I should have known better. After all, you _are_ pathetic, aren’t you?”

“I—” Buck tries to protest, but he’s unable to. There’s a lump in his throat stopping his words and a little voice in his head telling him that Eddie’s right.

“Another reason why I agreed is because you might not be the smartest but at least you’re hot and well, I could use some action in the bedroom. Besides—”

“Stop,” Buck interrupts Eddie. Each word feels like a new stab perfectly aimed at his heart, so deep and painful they’re probably going to leave a permanent scar. “Please, stop. I– I– ” he chokes on his words, throat tight. “This isn’t you, Eddie.”

Eddie scoffs, narrowing his eyes at Buck. “It is me, the real me. It’s the me who’s done pretending for your sake. Poor little Buck, so fragile and weak everyone has to take care of him. Tell me, Buck, do you really think anyone could love someone like you, so… exhausting?”

Once again, Buck is unable to argue. He simply stares at Eddie, fighting tears and struggling to breath. He barely reacts when Eddie starts speaking again, obviously not done with him.

“You’re fun to have around for one night maybe, but that’s it,” Eddie continues, his smile wider than humanly possible. “You’re going to be alone for the rest of your life, you will die alone, and the only person to blame is you. _You_ are the reason why everyone leaves.”

Frozen, Buck doesn’t have it in him to move and leave to end this torturous moment. All he can do is sit here, immobile, and let his best friend— one of the people he loves and trusts the most— rip his chest open and crush his heart. Eddie’s words are strangely similar to the one going back and forth in his head during his darkest nights. They are his deepest fear and insecurities, things he told Eddie about when keeping them to himself was too much, things Eddie reassured him about. He trusted Eddie with this and having that trust broken like this angers Buck as much as it hurts him.

“Then why don’t you leave too, uh?” Buck asks shakily through clenched teeth. “If you hate me so much, why are you still here?”

“Because I—”

Eddie can’t finish his sentence, cut off by a ringtone—Buck’s one. The melody makes Buck jump slightly, snapped out of his painful, dumbfounded trance. Thankful for the impromptu break from that painful and unreal conversation, Buck ignores Eddie’s frustrated grunt and searches his pockets for his phone. He barely holds back a sigh of relief when he sees Bobby’s name on the screen.

“Don’t.”

“I need to get this,” Buck doesn’t give time to Eddie to argue and accepts the call. “Bobby?”

“Buck, are you alone?” Bobby immediately asks, skipping formalities.

“Um, I’m with Eddie,” Buck replies, his inside twisting.

_I’m with Eddie…_

It’s the truth yet it doesn’t feel like it to Buck. He is having a hard time believing that the man eyeing him suspiciously from the other side of the table is his best friend, the man he fell in love with. There’s a part of his brain that’s convinced that this isn’t real, that maybe this is just a nightmare from which he’s going to wake up from soon. Maybe it’s something else. Maybe Eddie is being possessed by a demon or something. Whatever it is, Buck refuses to accept that the man he’s facing is the kind and caring Eddie he knows. But who else would it be?

If this was a nightmare, Buck would have woken up before he got his heart shred to pieces and demons... They don't exist.

“Buck!” Bobby’s voice catches Buck’s attention again, and from the sound of it, it’s not the first time Bobby says his name.

“Yes, I’m here.”

“I need you to listen to me and do as I say,” Bobby declares, a sense of urgency obvious in his firm voice. “I need you to get away from him, can you do that?”

“Yes,” Buck frowns in confusion, but Bobby sounds so serious he doesn’t question him. “I’ll be right back,” he informs Eddie.

“No,” Eddie protests. “I was too harsh, I’m sorry! I…got scared? And—”

“Don’t listen to him,” Bobby’s voice echoes in Buck’s ears.

“We’ll talk about that when I’m done with this phone call,” Buck tells Eddie.

Buck notices Eddie’s mouth open—probably to express disapproval again—but he doesn’t let him do so and does as Bobby said. He pushes his chair away from the table, stands up, and walks away, more confused than ever. He can’t think; his mind is empty and his body on autopilot as his heart keeps bleeding because of Eddie’s words. Buck lets his feet guide him away from the table—as far as he can without losing sight of Eddie.

“I’m alone,” he informs Bobby.

“Good,” the captain breathes out in relief. “You need to leave, right now,” Bobby’s voice is firm yet gentle. It’s an alarming tone Buck is familiar with, but there’s something more to it.

“What? Why?” Buck asks, panic joining confusion in his head and chest.

Bobby sighs but doesn’t hesitate. “We all are at the hospital with Eddie,” he announces and for a second, Buck thinks he heard that wrong. “Did you hear me? Eddie is here with Hen, Chimney and me, at the hospital.”

“What do you mean you’re at the hospital with Eddie?” Buck chuckles nervously, his eyes fixated on his best friend. “I’m looking at him right now.”

“That’s not Eddie,” Bobby declares, and something deep inside him tells him that he knew it. “Meet us at the hospital, we’ll explain everything.”

“Is this a joke?” Buck asks because that seems to be the most plausible explanation. “Are you all—”

“Buck.”

The voice coming out of the phone’s speaker isn’t Bobby’s. Buck has a hard time wrapping his head around it, but he has no doubts: it’s Eddie’s. Buck almost drops his phone at the realization. He still has his eyes on Eddie who’s sitting at the table, an impatient look on his face. _How is that possible?_

“Buck,” Eddie says again, his voice raspy.

Eyes focused on the man who’s here, in the restaurant with him, Buck notices that his lips don’t move. _What is happening?_

“Can you hear me?”

“Yeah, yes,” Buck replies, weirded out. This evening keeps getting stranger and stranger. “What’s going on? How can you be here and—”

“You need to leave, trust me,” Eddie doesn’t let him finish his question. “You’re in danger. I’m begging you, leave.”

The despair in Eddie’s voice is as weird and unusual as the flirting Buck has experienced before, maybe even more so. Either way, it’s enough to convince Buck of the urgency of the situation and do as he’s told, memorizing the hospital’s name Eddie gives him.

“Okay, I’ll meet you at the hospital,” Buck agrees.

“Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“Please be careful,” Eddie pleads. “I really want to go on a date with you.”

“Don’t worry,” Buck reassures him, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

After hanging up, Buck takes a moment to calm down. He hasn't noticed until now, but he's shaking with panic. It could really be a prank the rest of the team is pulling on him but Bobby's urgent tone, Eddie's fear... It felt so real that Buck doesn't want to take the risk to stay here any longer. So he breathes deeply, puts his phone in his pocket and walks back to the table, trying his best not to look suspicious or too shaken up.

“Is everything okay?” Eddie asks as soon as Buck is close enough to hear him.

“Yeah, yeah. No!” Buck corrects himself, aware that he needs an excuse to leave. “It’s Maddie, she needs me.”

Eddie cocks an eyebrow at Buck in suspicion. “Then why was Bobby the one calling you?”

“Because Chim’s panicking,” Buck lies, searching his pockets for his wallet. “I really need to go,” he adds as he takes his wallet out and drops some money—enough for both their meals—on the table. “I’m sorry.”

“So you’re going to leave me like that?” Eddie asks in a small voice. “Without listening to what I have to say?”

“I’ve heard enough,” Buck states, hoping it’s enough for Eddie to let him go.

“I said I was sorry,” Eddie reminds him, looking down at the table, and he really seems sorry. “You know me, feelings aren’t my strong suit… the truth is I got scared to feel again, to be hurt again. So I pushed you away. I lo—”

“Hold that thought,” Buck stops Eddie with a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s talk about this later, okay?”

Eddie frowns, obviously not pleased with the turn of events. “Fine.”

Buck nods in acknowledgment then leaves the restaurant. As he walks to his car, Buck feels more numb than panicky. He doesn’t understand what’s going on, hasn’t even completely processed what Bobby and Eddie told him on the phone. All he knows is that he has to leave as soon as possible, get away from here and… Eddie.

A part of him still believes it’s some kind of twisted prank the team is pulling on him because Halloween is around the corner and that’s what they like to do around that time, pulling pranks on each other. Chimney, Bobby, Hen, Eddie, and even Buck himself… They all love pranks but they are always harmless. None of them would ever do something that would hurt Buck that much, break his heart and spirit. It can’t be it.

So what is going on? How can Eddie be in two places at the same time? How did the Eddie who was here with him knows all those things about Buck? As those questions and a million more dance inside his head Buck starts to believe that his theory about demons wasn’t that far stretched. He believes ghosts exist, so why not demons?

The walk to his car feels endless to Buck so when he finally can see his jeep, he lets out a relieved sigh. Unconsciously, he speeds up and almost runs to it, remembering what he’s been told. He’s in danger, he needs to leave. The need to be with Eddie makes him give up on controlling his legs, and he ends up jogging to his car, digging his hands in his pockets for his keys. Buck is only a few steps away from the vehicle but doesn’t make it. Before he can close the distance separating him from his jeep, he feels a strong hand grabbing him by the shoulder.

“I’m not done with you,” a voice whispers into Buck’s ear as a hand comes up to cover his mouth.

Buck recognizes the voice as Eddie’s but it sounds nothing like his best friend. The tone is cold and angry, almost like a growl and makes Buck shudder, goosebumps spreading all over his body.

_This is not Eddie,_ Buck tells himself. _This is not Eddie, this is not Eddie, this is not Eddie._ Panic and fear make the sentence echo in his head over and over again until it sinks in and his instincts kick in.

By the time that happens, Buck has been dragged to a dark alley by the restaurant. If danger was just an idea before, it’s now real and that changes everything. Buck doesn’t scream—he knows it’s useless and would only waste his energy—he doesn’t try to escape either. He doesn’t panic anymore. Instead, he concentrates on calming his heart rate and keeping his breathing steady as he evaluates the situation. He can do this, he’s been trained for this.

_Don’t waste your energy, focus, stay calm,_ Buck thinks. He knows this will determine if he’s going to make it out alive or not.

Staying calm allows Buck to use his energy, on kicking the man still holding him. Concentration makes the difference. Buck’s instincts urge him to flail to get out of his attacker’s grasp or kick whatever he can, but he knows better. He knows that he’s going to need strength to make a run for his car once he’s free. Buck thinks, he plans each movement to give them as much impact as possible without tiring him more than necessary.

Buck starts with the head. He takes on momentum, bringing his head down then lifting it as fast and as far as he can, until it hits his assailant’s face. Although he grunts in pain, the man doesn’t let go of Buck. He actually tightens his hold around Buck’s shoulders, so much Buck can’t breathe. Eddie is strong, but not that strong. That strength only adds up to the strangeness of this whole evening…

“Well, someone’s a fighter,” Eddie snarls.

_No. This is not Eddie. This is not Eddie._

Buck _is_ a fighter, he was trained to be one. So Buck fights. He throws his elbow backwards into his attacker’s middle. As he expected, the man bends over in pain. Even though he doesn’t entirely let go of Buck, it gives Buck enough room to move. Buck slightly bends his knees, gripping the man’s forearm wrapped about him, and throws him over his shoulder.

Groaning, the aggressor lands on the ground with a loud thud. Not wasting a second, Buck straddles him and holds him down by pressing a hand on his assailant’s throat. Buck lifts his other hand up, clenching it into a tight fist, ready to punch the man wrestling under him. If he punches him hard enough, on the right spot, he can knock him out. This is his plan, the best one he could come up with: knock the man out and run to his car. It’s a simple plan he can do it. He _will_ do it. He has to.

However, Buck makes the mistake of looking down at the man’s face. It only lasts for a few seconds but it’s enough to ruin Buck’s plan. Buck tries to remember that this isn’t Eddie but it’s harder to believe now that he’s looking at the scared expression shutting his eyes and turning his lips into a thin line. It makes Buck pause and even if he recovers from it quickly, it’s too late.

Buck’s attacker takes advantage of his hesitation to take the upper hand. He switches position with one strong and swift movement. Buck’s back forcefully hits the pavement, but it doesn’t hurt as much as the few punches that follow, stopping him from fighting back. They all land on his face and chest with so much force that Buck hears his bones crack. His screams of agony die in his throat, choked by blood, as the man keeps punching and punching.

After a while, punching doesn’t seem enough for the man. He grabs Buck by his suit’s jacket and starts shaking him from side to side, then up and down. Despite the dizziness and blurry vision, Buck notices that the man is talking to him, but he can’t hear him through the ringing echoing in his ears. The aggressor looks angry, furious even, and he shakes Buck more violently. Buck’s head hit the ground once, twice… five times…

Eventually, Buck loses count. He can’t think, can’t move, can’t breathe. There’s a warm fluid dripping down his neck: blood. As black spots dance before his eyes, the only thing crossing his mind is that he’s going to die. He’s going to die right here, right now, killed by his best friend. Killed by the man he loves.

_This is not Eddie_ , Buck corrects himself in a flash of lucidity.

That’s his last thought. His attacker’s wicked smile is the last he sees, the pavement the last thing he feels. After that, everything goes black.

______________

“Buck?”

Staring at the blurry shape blocking his view, it takes a moment to realize that it’s a person, and they are talking to him. _He_ is Buck. For a second that feels strange, like Buck subconsciously knows it, but he didn’t have access to that information before. However, now that he has it unlocks a door to a lot more information, pieces of a puzzle that makes him who he is.

“Buck…”

Whoever is talking to him adds something that Buck doesn’t understand. The words are familiar—the voice is too—but right now, they don’t make sense to Buck. They barely reach his brain through the thick fog of sleepiness and confusion wrapping around his head. Deep down Buck knows there’s something wrong, that he should understand those words so the fact that he doesn’t rises panic in his chest.

As his heart is pounding in his chest, Buck blinks a few times in an attempt to chase away the blurriness. It’s a success and slowly, his surroundings come into focus. Blinking a few more times, Buck gives himself time to collect himself. As he does so, he focuses on every little detail to stop himself from slipping into unconsciousness again. The bandage around his head, the hand holding his, the comforting hand on his ankle… They anchor him and even though he’s not sure why, they fill him with relief. Maybe he’s relieved to be alive or maybe he’s relieved to not be alone, surrounded by people he doesn’t recognize yet, but he’s certain he loves. Either way, for a second relief makes him forget where he is, makes him forget the throbbing headache.

It’s only when he accidentally makes eye contact with the light above him that it all comes back to him, especially the pain. The brightness of it makes it worse, sharp and unbearable. By instinct, Buck closes his eyes again.

“No, stay with me,” the same voice as before says, giving Buck’s hand a firm yet gentle squeeze. “Open your eyes.”

The worry in the person’s voice is so heartbreaking yet heartwarming that Buck does as he’s told. He carefully opens his eyes and if he can perfectly see, the lights still hurt his head. Thankfully, the person—Bobby, Buck realizes—move slightly, blocking most of it.

“Bo—” Buck starts, but he chokes around the rest of his captain and friend’s name and starts coughing.

Talking is painful, so Buck doesn’t try again. His throat and mouth are so dry that swallowing saliva is difficult; it feels like swallowing nails. Before he can work up the energy to ask for it, Bobby’s hand leaves his and a cup of water appears in front of him. Buck takes the straw between his lips and takes a calming sip of water, then another one.

“He’s awake,” Bobby declares, looking over his shoulder while Buck drinks more water.

Instantly, two more people appear by Buck’s side. This time, Buck recognizes them right away: Hen and Chimney. It’s a slow process, but he’s already thinking a little more clearly. While Hen simply offers Buck a smile and gently squeezes his arm, Chimney pushes Bobby to the side and takes his place by Buck’s bed.

“Hey,” Chimney smiles down at Buck. “How are you feeling?”

Instead of replying, Buck sits up on the bed despite his friends’ protests and warnings. Of course, it hurts—pain spreads across his torso, up to his neck and the back of his head—but he hides it behind a forced smile and looks around the room. It doesn’t take long for Buck to realize he’s at the hospital. If the familiar detergent smell and the steady beeping of the heart monitor haven’t been enough to convince Buck, the nurse and doctor walking into the room does it. They spend the next minutes checking on Buck, verifying his vitals, his eyes reflexes, and asking him a bunch of questions. Buck easily replies to them, until he’s asked about what happened.

“I– I– ” Buck stammers, his brain completely empty.

He doesn’t remember. Shutting off the loud and fast beeping of the heart monitor that betrays his panic, Buck tries to focus. He racks his brain for any clues about why he’s in the hospital but nothing comes up. The last thing he remembers is leaving the fire station and then… he just woke up here.

Buck doesn’t listen to the doctor telling him how this is normal, that it’ll come back to him eventually, anxiety and confusion making her voice seem far away and muffled. He simply nods because that feels like the right thing to do and watch her leave, followed by the nurse.

“I don’t remember,” Buck breathes out once he’s alone with his team, his family.

“Buck,” Bobby says his name in a calm tone. “You know as well as we do that it’s not alarming, it happens.”

“Wha– What happened?” Buck ignores his friend.

“That can wait,” Bobby replies as they all come back to Buck’s bedside. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” Buck lies.

He’s not fine but right now, pain is the least of his concerns. He’s more worried about the missing memories than his physical injuries. Something deep inside Buck tells him that whatever happened, it was bad and not only because he’s in a hospital. So Buck needs to know, he needs an answer.

“What happened?” He asks again, barely hiding his annoyance.

When Bobby, Hen and Chimney stay silent, looking at each other in silence instead of replying, Buck’s irritation grows. He barely fights the urge to scream and throw things at them. Why aren’t they answering? 

_What happened? What happened? What. Happened?_

While the question echoes in Buck’s head again and again like a broken record, blurry images flash before his eyes. Bits and pieces of an evening that still doesn’t make sense to Buck. More than events, Buck starts to remember feelings and emotions that he doesn’t understand yet overwhelm him. He remembers the anticipation, the heartbreak, the fear, the emptiness…

“What happened?” Buck questions for the third time, his voice quivering.

“You...You don’t remember?”

While Buck instantly recognizes Eddie’s voice, the way his body reacts to it is anything but familiar. Cold sweat makes a shiver run down Buck’s spine in what he identifies as fear. Buck feels his skin crawling at the sound which usually fills him with peace and love, and he doesn’t understand why.

As he stares at Eddie, Buck’s insides twist uncomfortably. Eddie’s standing in the doorway with a bandage around his wrist and bruises on his face. Athena is standing behind him, a mixture of confusion and concern creasing her forehead. It all feels normal yet so strange, as if Buck still doesn’t know the whole story.

Buck has no clue where it comes from, but he feels the urge to curl up and get as far away from his best friend as he can at the same time. Yet he can’t do either. Buck is pinned in place from the weight that settles in his chest and the memories dancing before his eyes.

This time, the flashes are clearer, more vivid. Buck remembers everything now. It’s like some magic trick just sent him back in time, and he lives that horrible evening again. His best friend’s words are crystal clear in his head, breaking his heart all over again. Buck feels the punches Eddie threw at his face, hard and full of rage, and sees Eddie’s smile as he hits him again and again. Words break his heart, punches break his body, and he’s not sure what hurts the most: the words or the punches. Either he feels like he’s dying.

“S– stop, please,” Buck begs between two strangled breaths.

“Buck, it’s okay,” Hen says in a gentle tone. “Look at me.”

Buck feels cold hands rest on his face and turn his face away from the door. The second his eyes meet Hen’s, the memories stop yet Buck doesn’t feel better. He’s back in the hospital, but he remembers now, and he can never forget about it again. Eddie tried to kill him.

“You’re safe now,” Hen whispers, her thumbs drying tears that Buck didn’t notice falling down his cheeks.

“He– He– He did that,” Buck chokes on a sob. “Eddie, he—” Buck pauses again, turning his head towards the door again. “You did this! You– Why—”

“No, no, no. It wasn’t me,” Eddie protests, hurrying to Buck’s bedside.

Breathing rapidly through his nose, Buck hardly holds a scream back as he moves away from Eddie, as far as the small bed allows him. If he doesn’t fall from it, it’s only because Hen catches him. She wraps her arms around his body and urges him to calm down. Bobby quickly joins them, looking at Buck with concern.

“It’s true, Buck,” the captain says, holding Buck’s gaze. “It wasn’t Eddie.”

Buck frowns in confusion. He knows who he saw, he was there, yet he believes that Bobby is saying the truth. Taking a deep breath, Buck forces his jaw open to breathe out through his mouth. When he turns around to look at Eddie, his eyes are shining with worry and benevolence. That look is miles away from the one Buck’s remember seeing in Eddie’s eyes that evening, his attitude too. None of this makes sense…

_This is not Eddie. This is not Eddie._ Buck’s voice echoes in his head, putting together the last few missing pieces of the puzzle.

“It wasn’t you,” Buck lets a shaking breath out.

A relieved smile spreads across Eddie’s face. “No, it wasn’t.”

“Is someone going to tell me what’s going on?” Buck sighs, looking between his friends. “I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

No one really answers Buck’s question. Hen, Chimney, Bobby and Eddie all exchange a long, hesitant look that doesn’t sit right with Buck. After what feels like an eternity but probably lasted a few seconds, Eddie nods. However, Bobby is the one breaking the silence.

“We’re going to let you two talk.”

Bobby pats Buck’s shoulder while Hen squeezes his arms and Chimney smiles, then they all walk out of the room. The silence that hangs in the air when Buck finds himself alone with Eddie is heavy and uncomfortable but allows Buck to think. It feels weird, this awkwardness around each other. Even though he knows Eddie isn’t the one who attacked him, his face still is the one he associates with his aggressor. So as much as he’d like to go back to how things were between them, he can’t yet. His instincts go against that, making him wary and cautious. However, the need to know, to understand, is stronger.

“Eddie,” Buck softly calls for his best friend.

Sitting on the bed, Buck watches Eddie nervously shift his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes fixated on the floor. Eddie jumps slightly when Buck says his name, but he doesn’t look at him.

“Please, sit down,” Buck adds, Eddie’s fidgety demeanor making him nervous.

Eddie takes a deep breath, his shoulder straightening then slumping again, and he listens to Buck. He grabs a chair and drags it to Buck’s bedside, far enough to not make Buck uncomfortable but close enough for Buck to hear his whisper.

“Fuck... Okay,” he sighs before looking up into Buck’s eyes with resolve. “What do you remember?”

Buck squints, trying to put his scattered memories in order. Although some details are fuzzy and confusing, he’s pretty sure he remembers everything. What bothers Buck is that it can’t find any logical explanation for what happened. How was Eddie able to be in two places at the same time? If the person he went on a date with him then attacked him wasn’t Eddie, why did they look like him? How did they know so much?

“I think I remember everything,” Buck replies, staring at Eddie’s face. Eddie almost looks disappointed, scared too. “None of this makes sense, though.”

“I know,” Eddie sighs, staring into Buck’s eyes. “I can explain but I can’t promise it’ll make more sense.”

Buck breathes heavily despite the ache in his chest. “I want to know, I need to understand.”

“Are you su—”

“I am,” Buck declares with determination, stopping Eddie mid-sentence.

“Okay,” Eddie agrees, but he stays silent.

His eyes leave Buck’s to look down at his hands, resting on his thighs. Buck knows Eddie enough to know that whatever he has to say it’s important and sensitive, so he gives Eddie time. Even though it doesn’t ease the nervous knot in his stomach, Buck waits patiently.

“I– It wasn’t me,” Eddie simply says again, sounding desperate for Buck to believe him. And he does, Buck believes him.

Buck nods and tries to catch Eddie’s eyes. “I know, Eddie,” he offers him a reassuring smile that seems to work. Eddie lets out a long, relieved sigh. “But, they looked like you, they talked like you, they even walked like you, I—”

“It tricked me too, twice,” Eddie admits in a tone that makes him sound like he’s blaming himself for this. “I thought it was you, I never thought—” he pauses and his jaw clenches. “It showed up at my doorstep and said you changed plans for our date. I didn’t think much of it… I should have seen it, I should have known.”

“You couldn’t—” Buck tries to argue because if it was like anything Buck faced, there’s no way his best friend could have known it wasn’t him.

“I could have, I _should_ have,” Eddie speaks through clenched teeth. “But I didn’t. It punched me and before I passed out, I saw it change into me and I realized that you were in danger. I tried to stay conscious but I failed,” he continues and Buck notices that his hands have turned into tight fists. “When I woke up, I was tied up in a warehouse. I’m not sure how I did it, probably adrenaline and knowing that that thing was after you, but I escaped and called 911. Bobby’s team showed up and took me to the hospital, I was safe but you weren’t.”

“So while I was on a date with…” Buck hesitates, then remembers Eddie’s words. “That thing, you were tied up in a warehouse.”

“Yes,” Eddie replies, “then at the hospital and that’s when Bobby called you.”

Buck blinks, dumbfounded and confused as ever. All of this is beyond logic and reality yet Buck believes it, he believes Eddie. Thinking back to the date, Buck knew something wasn’t right. What he blamed on nervousness were actually signs he failed to see.

“What was it?” Buck questions Eddie. “How could it look like me then like you? I don’t understand.”

Eddie hesitates, his eyes scanning the room and carefully avoiding Buck’s. The way Eddie opens his mouth then closes it before any sound can come out tells Buck that Eddie knows.

“You know what it was.”

“Yeah,” Eddie breathes out. “It was a shapeshifter,” he declares, still not meeting Buck’s eyes. “It’s a creature that can turn into any living being: animals, humans…”

Buck can’t help but cock an eyebrow at Eddie. “I didn’t know you believed in this kind of thing…”

“I learned everything I know from stories my abuelo told me and books,” Eddie explains with a shrug,“ but I never encountered any supernatural beings before. It’s a long story but long story short, the supernatural is real. It’s rare, but it’s real.”

Buck scoffs. Not because he’s making fun of Eddie but because as unbelievable as it is, he accepts that statement without questioning it. It explains a lot, it feels right, and Buck believed in the supernatural before this anyways. Besides, he doesn’t see why Eddie would lie about this. Buck feels like he should be even more confused by this explanation, maybe terrified by it, but he’s not. Instead, he feels like a weight has been taken off his shoulders, and he can breathe again.

“So I was right!” Buck exclaims as his brain sends him back on a call they got a few years ago. “That time at the cliff, it was a ghost who called 911!”

It feels stupid to focus on that rather than what just happened, but Buck notices Eddie relax a little bit.

“I don’t know for sure,” Eddie admits, shaking his head. “Maybe it was, maybe not.”

“I knew it,” Buck smiles. “I’m telling you, it was!”

Eddie chuckles at that, surprising Buck in a good way. The sound isn’t mocking nor sarcastic but a mixture of genuine amusement and astonishment that also shines in his eyes when he finally looks at Buck.

“I just… and you—” Eddie pauses and chuckles again. “You’re surprising.”

Buck rolls his eyes and moves closer to the edge of the bed, closer to Eddie. “Says the man who has knowledge about the supernatural.”

“I’m not an expert,” Eddie defends himself, resting a hand next to Buck’s on the bed. “I grew up with those stories, just like every kid… I just knew there is a part of truth in them.”

Buck nods, his head full of so many questions it makes his headache worse. He has no doubt that Eddie would answer them, but he knows it’s not the right time nor the right place. Besides, he has more important things in mind. As his mind goes back to what Eddie said, to the shapeshifter, Buck can’t help but feel terrified. The heart monitor goes crazy, the palm of his hands gets sweaty, and his mind goes at a mile a minute. After taking a deep breath that barely does anything, Buck settles on one question:

“Where is it now?”

Eddie hesitates, looking down at his hands on the bed, so close to Buck’s but not touching it. “It’s gone.”

“What if it comes back?” Buck asks, his voice heavy with fear and worry.

“Buck,” Eddie says, his fingers brushing against Buck’s. “It’s gone, for good.”

Buck frowns in confusion, briefly looking down at their hands before staring into Eddie’s eyes again. “Wh– What does that mean?”

“I, um, I killed it,” Eddie pauses and exhales loudly. “It came to the hospital after we spoke on the phone and it looked like you. I thought it was you at first but then, when we were alone, it started to say things to me— things I know you would never say. So I connected the dots and… I don’t know. Next thing I knew the silver pen my abuelo gave me was in its chest.”

Buck sighs then falls silent, lost in his own head. Relief washes over him, and he feels the urge to take Eddie in his arms but something holds him back, something more than his physical wounds. So instead, he moves his hand until his fingers are wrapped around Eddie’s and give it a squeeze.

Although Buck knows what a shapeshifter is, he has no idea how they work. Nothing tells him that it didn’t get inside Eddie’s head in addition to taking his appearance. Maybe it channeled Eddie’s inner thoughts, and what it said to him truly is what Eddie thinks… That possibility forces Buck’s hand away from Eddie. If that’s the case, what does that mean for them? Can Buck still hope for more? Can they even stay friends? Thinking about this now feels weird—now is not the best time to unpack what he’s been told but Buck can’t help it. However, Eddie quickly ends the self-inflected mental torture. As if he could read Buck’s thoughts, he starts speaking again.

“I don’t know what happened or what it said to you, but I know enough about shapeshifters to know that attacking you wasn’t the worst thing it did,” Eddie declares in a worried tone. “Whatever it said to you, it’s not what I think, okay?” Eddie pauses, maybe to give time to Buck to process what he just said. It’s only when Buck nods that he continues. “It looked like me, but it’s your head it got into. It’s your own thoughts and fears it used to hurt you.”

“Why did it do that?” Buck wonders. “Why us?”

“I don’t know,” Eddie admits with a shake of the head. “Anger? Fun? Shapeshifters are evil and enjoy torturing people.”

Buck doesn’t know what to say. He can’t argue with that—having been the prey of a shapeshifter himself—but he also doesn’t want to admit how much he got hurt, so he just lets out a long sigh. Buck observes Eddie in silence and it slowly dawns on him that Eddie got hurt too. The bruises on his face are proof of that but just like for him, being punched wasn’t the worst of it. Buck can see that in Eddie’s eyes. He’s seen his best friend hurt before. He’s seen pain and distress in his eyes many times but it’s never been so shattering. This hurt making Eddie’s eyes glister, Buck feels responsible for it. Eddie faced the shapeshifter twice, Buck can’t imagine what it said to him.

“What did it say to you?” Buck can’t stop himself from asking. Not because he’s curious but because he wants to reassure the man he loves.

“I– It’s nothing,” Eddie lies, looking away.

“Okay,” Buck sighs, knowing better than pressing the matter. “But remember what you told me. Whatever it said to you, it’s not what _I_ think.”

“I just—” Eddie shakes his head and Buck takes his hand in his again, giving it an encouraging squeeze. If they don’t talk about it now, they never will and all hope for them will be lost. “Before I killed it, it talked about you. It said that you were dying and I could not save you. It said that it would be pointless anyways, that even if you survived, you’d never want to be my friend anymore, even less more than that. And...” Eddie trails off and sighs. “It’s probably not the right time to talk about that. I don’t know where you stand and I’d understand if—”

“No,” Buck stops him with determination, squeezing Eddie’s hand again. “It wasn’t you, you did nothing wrong. I am your friend, and I still want to try this, see where it takes us. Do you?”

“I– I’d love that,” Eddie smiles, squeezing Buck’s hand back.

Once again silence fills the room, heavy with words their eyes speak for them. They stay like that, staring into each other’s eyes while they hold hands until the same nurse as before walks into the room to announce that visit hours are over.

“Right, yes, sorry,” Eddie fumbles, a soft blush spreading across his face as he lets go of Buck’s hand.

He awkwardly stands up in a haste, almost knocking the chair over. He doesn’t leave right away, though. Eddie lingers by Buck’s bed, a deep focused frown showing his hesitation. By the time the nurse walks out of the room, he seems to have made a decision. He walks closer to the bed, until his shins are pressed against it and leans down. Buck watches Eddie’s face come closer and closer to his with his heart full of hope. He doesn’t feel the urge to put distance between them, in fact he wants to close the distance remaining between them.

This is his best friend. This is the man he loves. This is Eddie.

_This is Eddie._

Before Buck can move, Eddie closes the distance between them. Unlike what Buck has hoped, Eddie doesn’t kiss him. Instead, he softly presses his lips to Buck’s forehead, carefully avoiding his bandages. Somehow, that simple, innocent gesture means more to Buck than any kiss he’s ever been given.

It’s the unspoken confirmation that Eddie cares about him.

It’s the silent proof that Eddie shares Buck’s feelings.

It’s the wordless promise of something more.

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: During their date, Eddie is really mean with Buck and rejects him, saying to him horrible things. But 'Eddie' isn't really Eddie, it's a shapeshifter that took his appearance and nothing the shapeshifter says is what the real Eddie thinks.
> 
> It's all explained later in the fic, but I wanted to make sure you have all the information to read safely ♥
> 
> *
> 
> Find me on [ Tumblr ](https://depthandcharacter.tumblr.com)!
> 
> Comments and Kuddos are always appreciated and cherished, your love and support keep me writing! ♥


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